What About Hope?
Rob Bell (theologian) defines despair as “the belief that tomorrow will be just like today.” When we are struggling and in pain, despair - the notion that there is no end to our suffering – is a frantic and claustrophobic sensation. We are unable to find a way out of or through the struggle and misery.
I see commitments to new ways of thinking about what we want to achieve and why when I look at instances of hope practices in the Ontario nursing profession. We need to learn how to reality-check our objectives and the paths to them, as well as how to remove the humiliation of having to restart many, many times when our original plan fails. Setting attainable objectives is a talent that is required for hope. Small disappointments might build into pessimism and despair if we lack these abilities.
We all fear pain and difficulty, yet they are frequently required for progress, and, more importantly, they do not pose the same amount of risk as pessimism and despair do. We can't turn a blind eye to pessimism and despair in ourselves or others. In addition to cultivating a hope practice – being intentional about setting goals, thinking through pathways, and developing a strong belief in ourselves and our abilities – we can look to Martin Seligman's research on resilience, particularly what many people refer to as his three Ps: personalization, permanence, and pervasiveness.
Personalization: When we are depressed or hopeless, we frequently assume that we are the problem and fail to consider wider concerns and context. Self-blame and criticism do not increase hope; they are quicksand. Recognizing that outside circumstances play a part in our difficulties might provide us with a new perspective on our situation.
Permanence: This one is difficult since believing that our battle would never end is ingrained in our feelings of despair and hopelessness. This is the "Tomorrow will be the same as today" mindset. One method to improve resilience is to include the transient nature of most setbacks into our everyday approach to hardship. We can't afford to put off developing this talent until we face a major challenge in our life.
Pervasiveness: When we're struggling, it's easy to believe that whatever we're dealing with has soiled or affected everything in our lives. Nothing nice remains. I recently found myself dealing with our provincial governmental system as if it were a crisis scenario; it seemed like the end of the world for a couple weeks. I felt as though this beast had swallowed me whole and there was nothing left of me. Then I received a text message asking, "hey mum, do you know where my cell phone charger is?"
My initial thought was, “Ah, the three Ps”. There is one aspect of my life — the most essential one – that has not been affected by this. My second impression was that we had a million charges, one for each outlet.
What I hope to convey is that I am not the world's issues, nor are the world's problems mine. Yes, they can affect me, but each situation has its own identity. Unless I establish healthy boundaries, I will allow these tremendous problems, over which I have no control, to rule my life, over which I DO have control. I do have influence over how I respond to global issues and how I may assist my community. It is where I should direct my attention, and that is where you should direct yours as well. Focus on hope, but not grandiose hope, which leads to pessimism and "Nothing will ever change," but rather on hope on a local or personal level. You should have hope for yourself, your coworkers, who you see clearly attempting to make a difference, your community, and your children. Ultimately, the acts of today will define the destiny of this world.
